d-hodges: cuntifyme: jaidenbatchler: ...
frozenfoods: [esteban voice] thees ees a deesaster
gamsee: do you see this, son? this is an screenshot from my old blog back in ‘13. look how many followers i had. yes im sorry that we’re living on the streets son but at least your dad was funky fresh back in his blogging days
The worst thing about taking naps is you expect to wake up afterwards feeling well-rested but instead you feel like you died and you forget who you are
We can only be friends if you’re kind of an asshole. Not full blown asshole because that’s no fun. And if you’re not an asshole at all then that won’t work either. A halfway asshole. Those are my kind of people.
in fifth grade
me: ur sitting in my seat
kid: i don't see ur name on it
me: it will be written in your blood if you don't get the fuck up
dj-bsnow: If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple “Thank You” will suffice. None of this “How did you get in my house” business. So rude
kanayatheawkwardlesbian: saying ‘since you support gay marriage you must be gay’ is like saying ‘since you support obama you must be obama’
mom: you haven't moved since I left the house 6 hours ago wtf
me: excuse me where do you think these chips came from
You will be stupid. You will worry your parents. You will question your own...– Ira Glass (via sadexistences)
sherlockismysuicidenote: slutsy: i told my duck he looked like a loaf of bread this was his response WHY DO YOU HAVE A DUCK